I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
