i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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