hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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