How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
