i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
