when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
