I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
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I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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