i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
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