i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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