So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My ATM looks so different sober.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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