their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
