just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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