so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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