after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
