My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Randomize
