he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Everclear isn't food dammit
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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