I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
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