so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
do herpes really smell.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
