you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
