i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
