she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
