is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
