THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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