One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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