For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
