Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
honey bunches of taint.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
