Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
