yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
