i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
