i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
