turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
