I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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