I wannas sexs uuuuu
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
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If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
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I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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