Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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