I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
