But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
