And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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