He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
