Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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