I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
