the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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