I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
