why didn't you poke me back
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
