Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
