Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
