FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize