I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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