Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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