Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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