I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
