Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Randomize
