This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
