you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
