somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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