My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
