I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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