i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
