wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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