We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
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Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.