When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It's official drugs can't kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize