guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.