So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home