She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
