I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
