I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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