dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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