He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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